Many Gods

China has many Gods. MANY Gods!

I went to a Taoist temple in Xiamen, China a few weeks ago. As I'm hiking up behind the temple, where paths cascade through gardens and sacred places of worship, I came upon a small cave that had at least several hundred statuettes of the many Gods in China.

While inquiring to a Chinese co-worker about the various Gods, himself also an admitted Taoist, he told me it's very simple. You have a God for just everything. "If you want success, you pray to the success God. If you want safety, you pray to the safety God."

I'm reading a book on present day Chinese culture and I came across a reference to a "Kitchen" God.

I'm thinking about looking more into these Gods. I like how they are all specialists.

Love,
Reverend Sanders

Can Atheists Get Into Heaven? Can a Jew Go to Heaven?

Dear Church members,

I get asked a lot, "Can atheists go to heaven?"  Or for that matter what about all the Jews? -- the ones don't believe in Jesus? Well I found a nice interview with Joel Osteen, pastor of the largest mega-church in North America that answers these exact questions. He is a reprint of that interview with Larry King.

Faithfully Yours,
Reverend Sanders

KING: Phoenix, Arizona. Hello.

CALLER: Hello, Larry. You're the best, and thank you, Joe -- Joel -- for your positive messages and your book. I'm wondering, though, why you side-stepped Larry's earlier question about how we get to heaven? The bible clearly tells us that Jesus is the way, the truth and the light and the only way to the father is through him. That's not really a message of condemnation but of truth.

OSTEEN: Yes, I would agree with her. I believe that...

KING: So then a Jew is not going to heaven?

OSTEEN: No. Here's my thing, Larry, is I can't judge somebody's heart. You know? Only god can look at somebody's heart, and so -- I don't know. To me, it's not my business to say, you know, this one is or this one isn't. I just say, here's what the bible teaches and I'm going to put my faith in Christ. And I just I think it's wrong when you go around saying, you're saying you're not going, you're not going, you're not going, because it's not exactly my way. I'm just...

KING: But you believe your way.

OSTEEN: I believe my way. I believe my way with all my heart.

KING: But for someone who doesn't share it is wrong, isn't he?

OSTEEN: Well, yes. Well, I don't know if I look at it like that. I would present my way, but I'm just going to let god be the judge of that. I don't know. I don't know.

KING: So you make no judgment on anyone?

OSTEEN: No. But I...

KING: What about atheists?

OSTEEN: You know what, I'm going to let someone -- I'm going to let god be the judge of who goes to heaven and hell. I just -- again, I present the truth, and I say it every week. You know, I believe it's a relationship with Jesus. But you know what? I'm not going to go around telling everybody else if they don't want to believe that that's going to be their choice. God's got to look at your own heart. God's got to look at your heart, and only god knows that.

KING: You believe there's a place called heaven?

OSTEEN: I believe there is. Yes. You know, you've had a lot of the near-death experiences and things like that. Some of that is very, to me, not that you need that as proof, but it shows you these little kids seeing the angels and things like that.

KING: We'll take a break, and when we come back, the better half, Victoria, will join us. Don't go away.

Admiral Viceroy Of Interpretive Dancing

Welcome to the First Utilitarian Church of Knowledge. I recently left my post as Dean of Flamenco Dancing, of which, I had served long and hard. Regrettably I had been reprimanded one too many times for reinterpreting those beautiful and structured dances. I yearned for more. More expression, more freedom, more tolerance of unrestricted movement. I was asked to remove the taps from my shoes, however I was able to keep the fan. Humbled I walked the Texas woods in search of inspiration and belonging. It was hot and I was fanning myself like crazy when suddenly I felt the need to express my situation through interpretive dance. It was at that moment when Rev. Sanders happened by. So touched and moved by the pureness of my actions he welcomed me into the First Utilitarian Church of Knowledge where I was ceremoniously appointed Admiral Viceroy Of Interpretive Dancing. I encourage freedom of movement and expression every day. Dance for joy, dance for the blues, dance for yourself, just keep dancing.

Dancing is free and it cures almost everything. Until then......... be safe and spontaneous.

Self Direction

As our church is formulating our tenants, we are searching for help from members. This article captures some of the problems and definitions that I see we face. Input from other welcome.

To be autonomous requires that people have a developed self, to which their actions can be ascribed. 'In turn this requires a consciousness of oneself as a being who acts for reasons, whose behaviour can be explained by reference to one's own goals and purposes' (Lindley 1986: 6). A second dimension of autonomy requires freedom from external constraints. That is to say, an autonomous person is someone who is not manipulated by others. Such a person is able to act in pursuit of self-chosen goals.

Do All Xperts Look Alike?

Wayne has had some experience with Xperts and apparently drew a profile of what one typically looks like. I myself have met many Xperts looking very similiar to this one here. They may possibly be all related. I know for sure they belong to various secret societies of which little is know.

The Church of Knowledge is presently investigating some of these various societies and will keep our members up to date on advancements in utilitarion knowledge related to this.

Yours Truly,
Rev. Sanders

Lords of Life - Gaurdians Tall

I found a reference to our mother church - the Lords of Life - written by Ralph Waldo Emerson the famous writer and poet of American literature during the 19th century who was himself a Unitarian minister. This poetically describes what the FU church strives to return to. Namely that the Xperts, the Lords of Life, are the "inventors of the game" and "omnipresent without name" who have become the "guardians tall" of all the rest of us in our sheepish culture. Ah, but the revelation at the end reveals that Nature herself finally whispers this truth into our ears - that the ever changing faces of these Xperts are actually our own creations!

Here it is:

The lords of life, the lords of life,---
I saw them pass,
In their own guise,
Like and unlike,
Portly and grim,
Use and Surprise,
Surface and Dream,
Succession swift, and spectral Wrong,
Temperament without a tongue,
And the inventor of the game
Omnipresent without name; --
Some to see, some to be guessed,
They marched from east to west:
Little man, least of all,
Among the legs of his guardians tall,
Walked about with puzzled look: --
Him by the hand dear nature took;
Dearest nature, strong and kind,
Whispered, `Darling, never mind!
Tomorrow they will wear another face,
The founder thou! these are thy race!'

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yours Truly,

Rev. Sanders

First Utilitarian Church of Knowledge

History of the Church - Part 1

[In contrast to ill rumours that the Official Founders were sitting around drinking on New Year's Eve and came up with some crude idea of a Utilitarian church here is the true origination of this most wholey endeavor.]

The First Utilitarian Church of Knowledge is an off-shoot from the Holy Exspurt Lords of Life organization headquartered in Driftwood, Texas. The Lords of Life worshipped the "Holy Experts" to degrees deemed impractical to several of its members including myself. The Holy Expert Lords of Life is pastored by the famous Dr. Duwitt Mighway who cajoled the members away from self-reliance into an over-zealous adoration of the Almighty Holy Xpert Himself. Thus we have formed our F. U. Church of Knowledge.

At one point in the final meeting it exuberant shouting could be heard up and down the valley between these two dividing forays. I recall hearing shouts of "The Xpert is the ONE and ONLY TRUE One to be worshipped!" with replies of "Bullshit! You're crazy!" by the break-off rabble.

At one point the supporters of Duwitt chanted repeatedly:

"Duwitt! Duwitt! Duwitt"

with replies of:

"Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!"

It was a horrible scene.

At the final climax when the newly birthing F.U. Church of Knowledge members marched out of the Driftwood haven of Exspurt worshippers there were chants of shouts from the mother church in support of their leader:

"DUWITT MIGHWAY!
DUWITT MIGHWAY!
DUWITT MIGHWAY!
DUWITT MIGHWAY!"

countered with over shouts of:

"F U!

F U!

F U!

F U!"

It was a horrible scene.
But such are the horrors of traumatic births everywhere.

And thus began our humble origins.

And to all future members who are willing in response to agree with us whenever the cries of "Duwitt Mighway!" with a resounding "F U!" we humbly welcome.

Come join us and be free of Exspurt worship.


Yours Truly,
Rev. Sanders